Why I’m (sometimes) percieved as a monster.

If you become feared, you may get a little peace. So I have to become a monster and build a fortress of deeds n bluff n pretense n be the thing that threatens you most. Do you remember why you built this empire of coldness in the first place? Wasn’t it just so people would just leave you alone? No one, your whole life, has understood good manners like “no thank you, I’m fine, I just need some alone time, or something like that. but, no! Here they come, with cookies something they need to ask that could be self answered if only they were to think about it. Okay, that is an extremely mild example, on the other end you have slavery and whole countries and races being oppressed in every way. No one understands; Leave me alone! They (almost all of us) will just come and get your energy unless you stop then, by being a monster and seizing others energy therefore keeping most the petty monsters at bay,therefore gaining some peace.
Now, out of this ocean of monsters, you’re supposed to find a wife?

Advertisements

Ramblings about being an empath.

I think to establish a sanctuary within your own being where peace and harmony rule supreme. Cuz there’s no where else in all creation where it can be, after all, the universe is predatory and hostile, we’ve just been tamed by society’s rules and customs, all of which are unnatural creations of man. That’s all fine, but the law of the jungle is the true reality.
Empaths have the ability to read other peoples feelings and emotions, that’s better than reading their minds since their minds are always jumping around trying to feel good. Feeling and emotion motivate everything we do, so we have ESP, Extra Sensory Perception.
There’s a lot to be said about sending Love and raising your own vibrations, but for some of us that’s only half of it.

It has occurred to me that as an Empath I have felt like a victim, a victim of my moods (which were other peoples moods) of crowds, of negative people, etc. Now, knowing who and what I am, I just observe… and acknowledge. Acknowledgement is very powerful, when I get overwhelmed by a mood just out of the blue, I “give it existence” for what it is… someone else s energy. (I don’t fight or resist it or put up with it, or negate it.) Cuz the energy IS real and acknowledging it for what it is, allows it to pass away. Something like; “this isn’t mine, it’s someone else s” then I feel it, as in. only it, with no resistance, actually embrace it to get all it’s texture… Then something cool happens, it disappears… When it does I have to put something else in it’s place or else I’m wide open to the same form I just disappeared, “nature abhors a vacuum.”
As I write this, I’m 48 and have been on a slow path of awakening for the last 15 years. Up to that point, I just delt with it. Now as far as the victim mentality goes, I used to think of myself as weak… Ha! I think that is a common trait, maybe not that exactly, but some form of frailness. As I have grown, it has occurred to me that I am actually stronger than most non empaths. I suggest that if a non empath took on this ability it would bring them to their knees, but, this is my world, I grew up navigating this “storm” and now that I can bid the storm to be calm, I watch people easily carried away by any whim. Again, I suggest that we empaths are in fact stronger than our non empath brothers and sisters.
I just read a comment from a newly aware empath resenting that she was affected by what others feel, but could not affect others. I don’t think this is true. As you gain control of you emotions ( thru a chosen set of attitudes ) and gain strength on the inside. a term I use is, once you find “the Star” you will have an anchor right “here”. I am the center, firm, established, eternal… I know where I am and will not let impressions pull me of my center. Now, I can bring up an emotion or feeling and sustain it (as something I’m actively producing, I am the master of it, not the victim of it.) I’ve noticed changes in others.:)
I’ve thought that if a few empaths get together and group meditate on a chosen outcome of feeling in the world, we may be the ones to actually bring fourth a paradigm shift in humanity. Who are you to say “I’m not the one”. You ARE the one!

Small towns, drugs, and moving to, vs from.

Moving to, rather than from a place, makes a lot of sense. I’ve moved a lot in my life of 48 years (52 places). I became aware of being an empath about 8 years ago while living in Beaverton, OR. and around that time I was “called” to move back to the Mojave Desert, where I lived as a teen and young adult. I had been living in the Portland, OR area for 6 years and really enjoyed all that a larger city had to offer. I won’t go into the details of my “calling” or how I ended up here in the small town (pop 180) where I live, ‘cept to say, I had to move here, I was going “to” somewhere, not moving from, as I mostly had done in the past… I had no idea why, just that I had to go.
I have found that in a small town, my inner world is far more stable. I may not like some of the people, but I know them and knowing them, I know how to counter their energies… Don’t get me wrong, I do like many of the people here and have found there’s a type of person who tends to live here, ie; don’t like crowds, don’t like authority figures, we tend to be independent thinkers, are somewhat self sufficient and as I’ve learned of my own abilities have found many empaths here. This place is kind of unique as it is an old mining town with many rough characters including functional alcoholics and pot smokers, of which I have been both… I have come to understand that taking drugs is a way to manually control how I feel ( I don’t drink or drug now ). Being ignorant of my nature and the storm of feelings that weren’t even mine, I used anything I could to gain some / any form of control, but I digress… My point is, that in a small town the energetic background is more stable, so it is easier to gain equilibrium, after all, a lever needs a fulcrum…

I feel that I should share at least one of the ways I gained control over the “storm” without drugs. Many people talk about meditation, but there is a lot of misunderstanding of what that actually is… A human cannot stop thinking, the internal dialog goes on and on. The trick is to concentrate the mind on one thought and keep it there. I choose to focus on the idea that the The Divine Light is in my heart, but any ONE* thing works, and to really be effective, it should be twice a day, morning and evening for at least 10 min. This is, of course, my experience and a person should keep searching till they find what works for them.

I’m beginning to think that as more of us become aware and gain control, it is us (empaths), who are going to facilitate the change of paradigm that will issue in the golden age of mankind, ha!, just a thought…
Peter Perry
(rock rock)

* 1. The thing itself
2. It’s origin
3. Where it’s going
4. It’s associations
5. What it’s made of
6. It’s function and uses
7. Any whys, whats, and hows about the one thing
8. Basically, any thoughts relating to the one thing are still one
thing